Tuesday, February 26, 2013



Many people have many difficult times in life. Very few of us have lives that are streamlined and golden without many tribulations or hickups along the way.  While we are going through our times of trouble it serves us well to understand that blessings come in many ways and to  note two things primarily:

1. We are not the only one struggling with a huge problem or life issue or tragedy.
2. Good things can result from our times of difficulty if we are open to it.

One major key to a successful life is having a mindset of "turning lemons into lemonade" and making the best of bad situations. As a Christian I also take comfort in the promise of God in Romans 8:28 where Paul tells us that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose." 

Sometimes we can only be comforted with faith in the hardest of times and I have meditated on this passage of scripture more than once. I also am reminded to pray often and give thanks in all situations and we do well to  realize that what we think is best is not necessarily really the best thing for us. Kind of like a child and chocolate cake and icecream. A little bit is satisfying, but a child may just want the whole thing and even eat till they become sick. When we say no to them knowing that it is in their best interest to limit the intake of sweets they cry and whine only wanting what they think is "good for them".

I wrote the other day of my mother who has dementia and was the care taker of my sister for her whole life.  (READ "THE UGLY FACES OF MENTAL ILLNESS") My sister has some legitimate health issues but my mother actually made them worse in her effort to protect my sister from the outside world. My sister began to use her allergies to manipulate mom and had my mother caring for her every whim and desire ...to the point of allowing her to eat a completely unhealthy diet full of simple carbs and chocolate and milk with few vegetables. My sister became extremely obese and began to have diet related skin and stomach problems. My mother would clean my 40year old sister up after she went to the bathroom because she couldn't do it herself. My mom lived her whole life for MY SISTER and about her.

Recently my mother had a successful hip surgery and this meant getting care for my sister. As the state had recently taken full guardianship away from my mom they put my sister into an adult care home which turned out to be the  best thing that could have happened. Previous to this happening I thought it would completely destroy my mom to not care for my sister as she had built it into her mind that she was the only person capable of this task. I visited my mom yesterday and she is recovering nicely. We informed her that she would not be going home and that she needed to focus on getting well.  We told her that the state was taking her house and that Karan was placed into an adult group home"for the time being".


I really thought this would literally kill mom. But now ... the blessing in disguise....she was relieved. She knew that she couldn't care for the house, bills, cooking, cleaning, and proper care of my sister. Once mom found out that others could properly care for Karan and that she was actually doing quite well and was happy apart from her she said that it was a miracle from God. 

My brother and I had been trying to orchestrate this miracle for the last 15 years, but until mom was finally taken to a place of incapacity she would not listen to others. Now the force of nature and a seemingly tragic incident of her falling and breaking her hip has led to the freedom and a better life for my sister and a freeing up of my mom to relax and have some time to herself to recover and just "be". I call this a blessing in disguise and see so many silver linings you can't even know.

My point is this...no matter how bad a tragedy or situation seems it is very possible that good will come of it for someone. We can learn and grow through these times and lean on faith and the promises of God to see us through.

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